"So you're a helmet-locker, are you?"

This is what my friend Ern says as I bend over my bicycle with my D-lock, to lock it to the railings outside the pub.

"At least you lock the helmet on the road-side of the railings," he observes. "That makes it harder for dogs to piss in it.

"Cyclists I have spoken to are divided on this. Obviously you don't want to carry your helmet round with you the whole time. The trouble is, if you lock it up with your bike, it is the perfect height to provide a cup for the dog's piss - and it is incredibly attractive to the dog because it's stinking of your sweat."

I pick up the helmet and carry it into the pub with me, a helmet-locker no longer.